#PresidentTrump wasn't the only one organising a #Coup this week, it seems, because on Tuesday afternoon. I got a message to say the group of people I was running #MSLetsChat with had set up their own group. Click To Tweet
President Trump wasn’t the only one organising a coup this week, it seems, because on Tuesday afternoon. I got a message to say the group of people I was running MS Let’s Chat with had set up their own group.
Very quickly I responded by removing all of them from my group, my messenger chat, and my personal Facebook. Having managed Facebook groups for some years, I am aware of what can happen when people disappear and set up on their own.
You can read in this post how MS Let’s Chat started.
How it started
During the first lockdown, the MS Society set up what they called Time to Chats, which were meetings over zoom for people with a MS.
These carried on until September, they had invited me to facilitate a couple of them towards the end while people were getting back to work.
A few of us decided we wanted to carrying on chatting so along came MS Let’s Chat, I set this up on my Facebook and one of the other ladies had a zoom account we could use.
Just before Christmas. I received a complaint from someone who was chatting, saying they felt the morning group was a bit chaotic, and they often struggled to speak and when they managed to they felt they were interrupted.
So I decided that we needed to have some housekeeping rules, and I know this didn’t go down well. There was a discussion in our messenger group but they said nothing more, ie, somebody wrote something in the messenger, and then deleted it quickly because they didn’t want me to see it, but I had already seen it.
The last few times I have attended the morning meeting, I felt very awkward and out of it. One particular time, I didn’t even open my mouth; I mentioned this to one of the other ladies who I chatted to regularly, often just me and her.The last few times I have attended the morning meeting, I felt very awkward and out of it Click To Tweet
So imagine my disappointment when I found out that not only have three of them gone off and started their own group, but also this lady who I classed as a friend was part of it too.
The crux of it
Prior to their removal from my group, they had contacted many of my members via messenger, and also sent a zoom link to my email list, which has absolutely nothing to do with them.
A couple of members contacted me and asked what this new group was as they had received an email which wasn’t from me. One member replied and asked to be removed from their list.
I then sent the main protagonist an email and informed her she had used my email list illegally and against GDPR rulings.
Anyway, it upset me, not particularly about three of them because they didn’t really involve me in things they were doing so that wasn’t the problem, it was just this one lady who I had formed a friendship with.
Thankfully, this lady contacted me and apologised and said she didn’t realise it had all happened behind my back. She was sorry that she’d upset me, and she wanted to continue with my group, and also being friends.
We had an hour long chat over zoom and now hopefully, we will be okay.
There is room for all groups. It’s all about supporting people with MS. It’s not about sneaking around behind people’s backs.
Anxiety and choosing friends
The week before this happened. I had an anxiety attack, one of the worst that I’ve ever had, and therefore, this didn’t do my anxiety any good.
But someone once said to me, just because we’ve all got MS doesn’t mean to say that we need to be friends.But someone once said to me, just because we've all got #MS doesn't mean to say that we, we need to be friends. #ThisIsMS Click To Tweet
And that’s so true, because we can choose our friends in normal life so why can’t we choose our friends when people have got MS. That’s the only thing that I had in common with many of them, and I have much more in common with the lady in question.
Once all this shit is over, I will get to meet her in person.
In the future
So yes, I will carry on, I’ve had a couple of chats already since this happened, and we’ve had new people on them, to be fair, even if I help one person not feel so alone that’s all it ever meant to me.
Let the other group do what they want they will not stop me, because I’m bigger than that.
No matter what happens, I will always remain professional. If it’s just one person wants to chat for an hour, I’m not there to build it up, I’m there to support people.
So if you have MS And you would like to chat please join, MS Let’s Chat, Facebook group, all the times are in the announcements section.
We’re very informal. We tend to just chat about rubbish. But that’s all we need to chat about now, while the world is like it is.
The last thing for me to say is thank you so so much for the support, I have received from people who are in the group, from my friends and from social media, you have all been amazing.
Considering my previous post was me not thinking I fit in, it’s quite interesting really to see obviously I do, and people want to be around me.
But just remember if they’ll do it to me, they’ll do it to somebody else, one comment you would find on every one of my appraisals over the years will be I am open and honest, and if I’ve got any issue with anything or anybody. I will tell you, because I can’t be doing with sneaking around behind people’s backs.
What you see is what you get with me and as for the cryptic comments you’ve probably picked up on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, this is to explain exactly what happened.
MS Let’s Chat will continue for as long as people need someone to talk to.
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