“I need to pray”, not words I would imagine coming into my thoughts during my childhood when I felt I was forced to follow a religion, that religion being C of E, both my Grandma and my Mum were regular churchgoers, Grandma also held garden parties and Mum arranged the church flowers.My sister and I were brought up on Sunday school and the church choir and were both confirmed at 13 years old. Click To Tweet
My sister and I were brought up on Sunday school and the church choir and were both confirmed at 13 years old.
Grandma often quoted the bible, usually when she was telling either me or my sister off for something she didn’t approve of.
I am not sure at what age I rebelled against this but that was me and still is today if I’m honest if I don’t want to do something that is my response. Previous bosses would tell you if I like to do something it gets done quickly if I don’t then it gets held back, I will still do it but not prioritise it as it should be sometimes.
Anyway, I would imagine it would be at the time when I started to follow Hull FC away games, therefore it clashed with going to church so I would have been about 14.
Then followed many years of ticking the box as an atheist, but I now know that was never true as I have always believed there was something there just never really sure what.
Praying for you
Yet every time someone is ill or loses someone, every time a pet is ill or someone loses a pet, the main response is “I am praying for you” from both me and others.What am I praying for you might ask, the non-believer me, I could say that it is just a platitude but I know it's not so, therefore, I must believe. Click To Tweet
What am I praying for you might ask, the non-believer me, I could say that it is just a platitude but I know it’s not so, therefore, I must believe.
Though I live right next door to the church above I haven’t been through the doors since I moved in, but when the vicar announced on Facebook yesterday that there would be no more services for the time being it suddenly hit me how real everything is becoming.
I almost have the urge to just go and sit in the church for some reason, it is still open during the day for quiet prayer or just to light a candle.
Why has it taken me so long to look at this? Is it the MS, is it a fear of mortality, is it just me getting older, I wish I knew the answer. What I do know though is it is something I suddenly feel quite strongly about.
My first service
This is what I took from the service “Be there for one another, have the grace to let others be your servant” It’s ok to be vulnerable and let people help you."Be there for one another, have the grace to let others be your servant" It's ok to be vulnerable and let people help you. Click To Tweet
I am looking forward to Sunday service now, even if it’s just a distraction to everything that is going on in the world.
Wash your hands and stay safe!